视野 比较立和ai的评论
再来比较立和ai评我的涂鸦
视野
视野里的远方 一个绿色的拱门 是树伸展的臂膀 为旅途上的人拂去灰尘 沿着路标的方向 顺着时间的指针 直到拱门就在眼前 才发现 左边的半个弯 错过了右边的半个弯 隔着几十米的距离 和几十秒的时间 那个期盼的拱门 不过是视野里 被挤压了的时间和空间 立的评论门的诱惑
读颤音的视野，感觉好困惑呀。于是我把诗打印了出来琢磨。
“一个绿色的拱门/是树伸展的臂膀”，这一句似乎既可以是以门喻树，也可以是以树喻门。这是一个比较新颖的比喻，但是我们现在还搞不清他到底是指的是什么。
“左边的半个弯/错过了右边的半个弯”，这是一个非常有趣的描写，而且有着一种发散的动态感。可隔着几十米，无论对门还是树冠都太大了。我们不知颤音是去哪了。
但最令人费解的是最后三句：那个期盼的拱门/不过是视野里/被挤压了的时间和空间。
期盼的门，那么颤音在期盼什么呢？似乎这里应该是门而不是树，他在期盼着一扇门。找到一扇门，意味什么呢？于是，这里有了丰富的蕴意。可接下来又说，这门其实是不真实的，甚至可能是不存在的。它可能只是一段记忆。
这样似乎我们就明白了。是颤音有什么事儿忘了，想但想不起来。“直到拱门就在眼前”是啊，就在我的嘴边，可怎么就是想不起来了尼？想呀想呀后来干脆就写首诗算了。也许是挨了老婆的骂。老婆指着他的鼻子说：你自己做的那些好事你都忘了吗？！！！于是颤音就开始颤抖，他想呀想呀想呀，可是真的怎么也想不起来了。自己都做了些什么了？于是，干脆写首诗算了。可这首诗的名字又叫视野？他的视野里看到了什么呢？可能先是他的老婆，然后越来越远，然后变成了远方的一个绿色的拱门，老婆的绿色的头发像是一棵树。
诗是苦难的结晶。门又是什么呢？还有那错过的弧？这真是一是费解的诗啊！
错位
我的左胳膊长在了右边；
我的上排的牙长在了下边；
我的脚长在了我的脚上
我的舌头长在了别人的嘴里，颤音的嘴里；
我的心没有啦！
它被狗吃了；
我的脑子，不够用，
它有时太大
有时太小；
我长发飘飘
我载歌载舞。
视野
——颤音
视野里的远方
一个绿色的拱门
是树伸展的臂膀
为旅途上的人拂去灰尘
沿着路标的方向
顺着时间的指针
直到拱门就在眼前
才发现
左边的半个弯
错过了右边的半个弯
隔着几十米的距离
和几十秒的时间
那个期盼的拱门
不过是视野里
被挤压了的时间和空间
立
2019
The poem "Distant in the field of vision" by an unknown author invites the reader to explore the theme of perception and the limitations of our senses.
The poem begins with the speaker describing a green arched door they see in the distance, which is formed by the extended arms of two trees. The branches of the trees "dust for hikers on the trail," suggesting that the path is well-trodden and that many have passed through the area before.
The speaker then shifts to describing their journey to reach the arched door, hiking and following the signs of space and time. The use of the phrase "signs of space and time" implies that the speaker is navigating not just physical space but also the passage of time.
Upon reaching the arched door, the speaker discovers that the half arch on the left is missing the other half on the right, which are a few yards apart in space and a few seconds apart in time. This revelation disrupts the speaker's fantasy, and they realize that the arched door they imagined was merely the product of the squeezed space and time in their field of vision.
The poem's central theme seems to be the limitations of perception and the role that space and time play in shaping our understanding of the world. The image of the arched door serves as a metaphor for how our senses and imagination can create a false sense of completeness or wholeness, obscuring the gaps and absences that exist in reality.
The poem's language is simple and accessible, with a clear narrative structure that guides the reader through the speaker's experience. The use of enjambment and line breaks helps to create a sense of movement and flow, mirroring the speaker's journey through the landscape. Overall, the poem encourages readers to reflect on how their perceptions shape their understanding of the world and to be mindful of the gaps and absences that exist in their field of vision.