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可能的职场凌霸。这周的更新。Director R又提出了针对我的一些没有任何凭证的指控。
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可能的职场凌霸。这周的更新。Director R又提出了针对我的一些没有任何凭证的指控。

FightCovid19
楼主 (文学城)

网友们好!谢谢大家一直以来的跟读和帮助!我说一下这周发生的事情。比较长,请大家多多包涵。

8/15 我收到R的一封邮件,内容如下:

It has come to my attention that you have been asking new staff in the office about their work schedule and flexibilities; and further engaging in unprofessional discussion/conduct. In addition, you are discussing and trying to compare your merit increase with other staff. Your behavior continues to make colleagues uncomfortable.  As a second warning, I am asking you not to engage in unprofessional conduct. You have been provided means to discuss questions and concerns you may have directly with me.

我马上给她和Employee Relations 的L回邮件,问R what “further engaging in unprofessional discussion/conduct.” I did。我又解释了事情的来龙去脉。我们上周有个新人M告诉我她8:30上班。她应聘时可以选择a start time between 7:30-8:30. That was when I said I wish I had the same treatment from my supervisor, allowing me to pick a time during the same timeframe. I definitely didn’t ask about flexibility as I didn’t know that was even an option. 关于工资的事,my comment was that I got 2.8% raise this time and I’m totally okay with it. I know the average is 3.5% so I said since 我们部门有三个人are salaried, they definitely work more than 40 hours a week. So I’m glad that 0.7% I didn’t get would mean they could get more than 3.5%, which they totally deserve. That was all what happened. 然后说有人给R feed false information about my behavior. Please investigate it while everyone’s memory is still fresh because this just happened last week. I do not believe I had engaged in any unprofessional discussion/ conduct regarding the work hours or pay rate as R accused me of.

很快R就给我和L send a meeting invite called “touchbase”. 8/16 我给她俩发邮件,坚持等L调查结束后再开会,并要求L给会议录像,这样的话 any he said she said situation would be avoided.。如果不能录像,I would then recommend to have another director and above level leader (or another staff member from L’s team) to join the meeting as an impartial third party witness. 并且说if L did indeed find my conduct were inappropriate, please point out to me the relevant 单位policies so I can learn from it。L告诉我她会找一个同事来参加我们的会。

会议是昨天开的。L当然没有发现我做错什么。她只是提醒我有人可能会觉得uncomfortable 谈论工资的事。我还是想把我的上班时间改回到8:45-5:15. The reason R given for changing my schedule to 8-4:30 is because that is the schedule of everyone. R还假惺惺的问我谁可以晚来。目的就是让我说出这两个同事的名字,她将来好利用来挑拨我和同事的关系。我说出了T(她8:45来)和M。 L一定是想帮我,说她会去调查那两个人的schedule。我估计她现在也特别烦R这种无端指责别人的行为。我今天上午在楼道里看到了T,就悄悄地告诉了她R昨天是如何逼我供出她和M的。我在后面提到的今天给employee relations的两个与会者(L和她的同事A)的邮件里也说Knowing R well by now, 当她问我谁可以晚来I immediately realized she would someday change their schedule (T和M的)to 8-4:30 when they displease her and tell them she has to do it because of me.

As I had expected, R在会上 made fresh new accusations again me and she accused me of under-performing after she purposely added another FTE workload to my original full time job. R还 accused me of not doing my job while I’m alone in the office. Her evidence was that I had my friend visit me in the office.

我今天给L和A发邮件,总结了一下昨天的会议。同时要求他们调查R对我的这些新的不实指控(have IT look into my computer activities around 5 PM on 6/9/23. This would clear my name of R’s yet another false accusation).我朋友是在6月9号5点左右拿一些basil苗给我。因为那天天很热,我就邀他进来喝点凉水。我又提出已经有两年多我都是单位最后走的人,而且朋友来是在六月份,R偏偏现在才说我一个人在办公室“God knows doing what” (her own words). Then she again changed my schedule to 8-4:30 on 7/20. Aren’t both of these clear indications she was retaliating me for my refusal to follow her request of not bringing up the issues to L that Tina had been mistreating me for a long period of time?

R accused me of under-performing. This is something I predicted would happen the day she assigned another full time job work to my original full time job. 我要求L 和 A assess the workload R had assigned to me. Were her actions abuse of power and retaliatory?

R一直在催我培训T。现在她说我under performing。我就问L和A,Now that R accused me of being under performing, does that automatically disqualify me as a trainer? Shouldn’t she be trained by a top performer, instead of an under performer? There’re two members in my team who used to do my current job and are well qualified to do the training. 培训定在了下周五。我会在那天发邮件给R,质疑under performer的qualification as a trainer.

邮件结尾时我说,I’d like to share with you that I’m trying to find a new job. All the accusations from R are mentally and physically draining, making it impossible to focus 100% on a job I love so much. My sleep pattern greatly suffers from it too. I can’t work for someone who doesn’t appreciate my hard work,  talent and skills,  who belittles and devalues my work, and baselessly question my professional ethics. I’m in constantly fear that she would make more false accusations against me or find excuses to fire me. My heart was broken when I realized I have to sneakily do my original job, because R told me I have to spent 50% or 75% of time on the new job she added to my list. I wish I had spent the time working instead of writing this kind of unproductive (in the sense of doing my actual job) emails, but this is my way of crying for help from experts like you guys and desperately trying to improve this toxic work environment I’m trapped in。

我昨天曾经建议A去了解我这个case的来龙去脉。他比L资格老(他是senior的职位),但从他昨天的发言可以看出,他一点都不了解情况。我在邮件里附上有关我这个case的所以邮件,以便他参考。

顺便说一下找工作的情况。我拿到四个pre-screening. 其中一个觉得我不太合适。另外一个给的工资实在太低。还有一个工作在我以前工作过的一个单位。一个前同事曾经告诉我她的工资,和我现在的差不多。没有想到我申请的这个工作比她的职位高,工资反而不怎么样。我和面试的人说,我会看整个package。不知道我能不能进到第二轮面试。第四个工作不错,但可能会有能力更好的申请者。我本来想扩大申请范围,然后就发生了R的这些无端指责。这个周末会大概看看找工作的事情,但我现在完全明白了找一份和目前工资相当的工作难度很高。既然R这么能作,还不如留在这个单位看看她如何蹦跶,及蹦跶多久。R的上司下周休假回来。我会把最近的邮件发给她。并且特意提到R对我没完没了的无端指责和打击报复。

再次感谢大家的支持和鼓励。我会尽量调整好自己的情绪,和保持平稳的心态。下周有新情况我会接着更新。祝大家周末愉快!

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julie116
2 楼
你有点直肠子。手腕和这些人不在一个层面。比如她问谁可以晚来。你不应该接茬儿。关系不融洽多说多错。

还有就是问完别人的时间得到答案时就不应该继续说了。

大家知道你和领导在斗。由没人有实力一起携手把领导赶走,你背后说领导的话他们反倒会不自在或者用来当成拍马机会。

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julie116
3 楼
但是她主动出击你也必须要为自己辩护。必要时需要个律师或coach。还有就是以后那句话应该说,哪句话是自己的

底牌(比如找工)暂时保密要多想想。那样说的效果是什么。是不是对自己有利的

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FightCovid19
4 楼
谢谢Julie的回复。我确实是直性子,也根本谈不上什么手腕。属于理工女里的nerd。所以才会搞的现在一地鸡毛。

好在智力还可以,工作能力也不错,所以还可以在美国混口饭吃。你说的很有道理。T和我一个部门,以前我俩在一个办公室。她喜欢很大的空间和挨着窗户,搬到了现在的大办公室和几个人share。我当时确实是大意了一些。对于找到新工作也太过于自信。

不过最终结果好像也不是太坏。彻底暴露了R信口雌黄的本质。可能我想得有点太天真。

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FightCovid19
5 楼
非常好的建议。谢谢Julie的教诲。
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julie116
6 楼
你要注意多收集她的把柄。自己谨言慎行尽量不给她创造机会
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FightCovid19
7 楼
好的。谢谢!
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dajiang123
8 楼
能問問樓主是啥領域的工作麽 ?

能問問樓主是啥領域的工作麽 ? 我簡單總結下,看看對不對:

1.老板是黑人 看樓主不順眼,找茬

2.人力目前已經介入,雙方有點對簿公堂的意思

這種事情我以前也碰見過; 其實只要想明白最壞結果,最好結果是啥,其他都好辦;

想明白得到啥,失去啥,剩下的都好辦; 甚至從人力的角度,我也可以分析一下。

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三闺女妈
9 楼
安慰楼主。 建议收集证据, document everything,少和对方口头交流,我们毕竟是用第二语言,也不擅长

办公室政治, 尽量用Email, 做会议记录(可用手机录下来),meeting完了写个summary copy to everyone, 这样有文字书面证据。 我当年自己的工作时间和工作量也记录下来, document everything。 楼主保重,  every cloud has a silver lining, 当年我同事送给我的话也送给你。一切都会过去的,而且会更好的! 相信我。 

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julie116
10 楼
她揪住你问别人工作时间不职业你的defense 是工作时间应该是standard, transparent to

all. Same rule for flexible work arrangements. 

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弯刀月
11 楼
对方都什么人种?
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FightCovid19
12 楼
非常感谢“三闺女妈”网友的建议和吉言!您的理解,鼓励和支持让我更有信心坚持到胜利!
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弯刀月
13 楼
随着多元文化这锅粥逐渐升温,普通人以后会越来越难
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FightCovid19
14 楼
Julie说的对。我也许还应该反问她作为主管,她难道需要问我下属的工作时间吗?
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FightCovid19
15 楼
西部非洲有钱人家的千金小姐。亲属在英美都有。小时侯在英国上过学。在美国中西部拿的药学PhD。

靠平权(affirmative action)进了我们单位。曾经起诉前雇主 employment discrimination. 我们单位的高层都知道她告前雇主的事。我Google过她。

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FightCovid19
16 楼
弯刀月网友说的很对。某些族裔即使工作能力和人品很差,单位也不敢开除。我觉得自己就碰到这样的上司。只能自认倒霉了吧。
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FightCovid19
17 楼
谢谢dajiang网友的回复。请看我给您的悄悄话。
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skipjack1
18 楼
在美国的尼日利亚人平均教育水平比中国人高,公司里大多是director manager级别
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FightCovid19
19 楼
R 来自尼日利亚附近的一个小国家。我最早的贴里提到那个也被Tina bully的前同事就是尼日利亚人,有一个牙科的博士
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FightCovid19
20 楼
我说明一下,我现在也不想和R斗,但她的这些指控,都可以作为开除我的借口。所以我不得不要求人力部调查以证明这些指控不成立。
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FightCovid19
21 楼
他说家里兄弟姐妹们都是专业人士。他们夫妇俩在东部有很多亲戚,所以就搬到新洲了。
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willows
22 楼
也不能说的太多,给人留下把炳
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willows
23 楼
也就是拖一段时间,赶紧找下家吧
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julie116
24 楼
书面的尤其要当心
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